looser

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Cetera Alexander on March 13, 2010 at 8:33am

Dont be discouraged because I used to feel that same way. I was so down that I wanted to give up on everything. I would do anything to get attention, especially from guys because I felt that was the way Id be cared for. I was really shy and had a large case of low self esteem so when God gave me an opportunity to do something I would make up many excuses and avoid doing them. Back then God gave me opportunities that I didnt realize were from Him. All could think of was them being ways of me failing. I could not stand the thought of intimidation, so if I felt like I would become intimidated, I wouldnt do that activity. My days were midnight black Bernadeth. There were times when I felt that no one listened to me, everytime I spoke I was ignored. There were times when I felt like I had no friends. No one invited me to go out and have fun. Not to long ago I realized that even though I felt that God was not with me, He was the entire time. On the nights that I felt like I should be out and partying, God led me to this website on one of those weekends. I have made some mistakes everynow and then, but darkness is beginning to turn to light. From this website I have heard stories from people that have motivated me and allowed me to realize that I am not the only one who has these problems. God allowed me to meet an amazing man and start an amazing relationship that will last for a life time. God has also allowed me to realize that partying is not what it is cracked up to be. He may have shown me signs from studying in school, or from stories that I have heard from party goers. God has allowed me to find myself even though it has taken many years. I encourage you to read the word of God daily. Dr. Stanleys messages are really good. Battlefield of the Mind(ill get back to you on the author) is a really good book on God's view on how to face negative thinking and so on. You wont stay in darkness for long. God has a way out for you. I didnt believe there was a way out but at the end of the day there is. Trust in God and He will direct you from right and wrong. You may not heal up on the spot but you will see progress:) No more darkness Bernadeth! Trust in the Light:)

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Raheel Rajani on March 13, 2010 at 12:00pm

Amen Cetera!

hey Bernadeth,

i can't say i went through the exact same thing as you, but i can say i've experienced the very emotions that you're feeling right now. i've been a believer for almost 4 years now, but i only really started following Jesus almost 2 years ago. it wasn't until last year that i realized that before i really started following Him, the difference between then and now was that i wasn't really digging into the Word, spending time with God daily, and just really letting my life be all about Him. i really do believe that that's SO important. not to be mean at all, but it really makes the difference between a Christian who's saved and stays that way (no growth) and a Christian who's saved and following Christ (growth). i can certainly say, having come out on the other side, (this may sound weird) God works! lol. for me, i know it was the lack of growth that left me unsatisfied and incomplete, even at this point of my life, i know if i get too busy to spend time in His Word, or even spend time in His presence when i wake up or before i go to bed, i'm very aware now that if i miss even one day of being with Him/talking to Him/remembering Him, that entire day turns out to be pretty chaotic, my emotions tend to lead me, and if i dwell on them to much and don't think, duh! talk to God, then i'll actually start to believe those negative thoughts, and sometimes, i'll be unable to think clearly for a few days thereafter.

to really stress it, my advice is to really dig into God's Word, spend as much time as you can with Him on your knees (you'll find that you'll really feel His presence then) talking and listening to Him (sometimes He won't say anything, and that's okay, but you'll still feel comforted by His presence), and really just go all out and be a Jesus freak. haha. you might think all this stuff sounds kinda corny and religious, and that it's not likely to work, but i dare you try it, and i can promise you, you won't be disappointed (Psalm 34, Luke 11:9-13).

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Taniere Harris on March 13, 2010 at 9:56pm

Amen Raheel

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bernadeth Cabañas on April 1, 2010 at 7:14am

Jesus freak... I like the term :-)) In this century, talking about religion with somebody really sounds corny and dramatic...I guess because our mindset was changed.

i agree with you on a lot of things. first is the lack of growth really bugs...specially when everyone's near finish line and i'm still at the starting line..running on treadmill path

2nd is reading the Bible. I just bought my bible back then coz the version is very well known (King James)...and who knows that I'll get to use it someday. Now, most of the page are marked. i've been really reading it coz initially , I want to get to know Him ...to understand Him. ' Ya know what? from the time i starting reading it to now, the message is consistent....to have FAITH.( I like Hebrews Chapter 11-13...really loved every line)

3rd, there's really a diff in following God and those who don't....and I'm still at the don't stage.(sorry for sudden shift.... fr the high,high...then LOW)

as the song goes, "my faith is like shifting sand".....hope I could make it to the finish line..with God's open arms congratulating me that I was able to make it...THANKS FOR THE ADVICE. =)

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bernadeth Cabañas on April 1, 2010 at 6:43am

thanks for the message. we're the same at some level..im a very shy person coz i don't have that "value",...that feeling for example when you meet people and you know that a few minutes of conversation and that person is not what she seems...a looser as what i entitled this discussion. well, i have a very low self esteem coz everything i do is like 1 step forward and 3 steps backward. i'm whatz? ... 29 years old and there's really no progress happening. sorry for unloading the details...coz this is heavy....back then, i used to go have a short series o f session with a nun and guess what? she had to let me go...probably she cld not get carry my emotional stage.

that's why i got registered to this site. i really need to let things out of my head. and oftentimes, even if we have friends, we really can't let them know the chaos coz they also have issues

thanks for the book title. i'll search for it. i'm a book worm also :-))

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Daniel Baier on March 25, 2010 at 4:28pm

one way to look at it, when ur at the bottom the only way to go is up

and as far as ending ur life? if you do that nothing will ever get better, if you hold on things will get better eventually

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bernadeth Cabañas on April 1, 2010 at 7:17am

thanks...ENDURANCE is the word.

.thanks again

▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Stephanie Oplinger on April 30, 2010 at 11:59am

I don't know what your circumstances are, but I used to cry myself to sleep so many nights too, praying to God to just take my spirit because I was too afraid of what it would mean or what would happen if I actually killed myself. Some people wake up next to a spouse, some wake up alone; I woke up next to depression every day. I have a pretty awesome life, but depression had been so heavy on my soul--I was crumbling under it--for over three years that all I could think of was death to escape it. But, you know, just literally last week, God healed me of my depression. I don't wake up to depression anymore. I don't cry to God for death anymore; I just cry out to God that I wanna get closer and closer to him while I still am alive. I'm still very tired in my soul from that long fight, but now I know that there is only up. There is nothing too big in this life that God can't handle, nothing so bad that He can't heal, nothing so scary that He can't chase away.
God can heal you of anything, any disease, any oppression of any sort and nature. I'll be praying for you. Hang on tight to Him. He'll bring you through those dark midnights, even when you feel sure that you won't make it.
2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

▶ Reply to This